


Baby, It's Just One Little Favor

by dessert_first



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, M/M, Multi, Ridiculous, Season/Series 01, the least sexy threesome fic ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:45:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessert_first/pseuds/dessert_first
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver needs Dig and Felicity's help. For Reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, It's Just One Little Favor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sisterofdream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisterofdream/gifts).



> Happy super late birthday, Sisterofdream! Fake boyfriends trope meets threesome, just for you!! How successfully, is another question.
> 
> Takes place during Season One.

"Oh, good, you're here," Oliver said, snatching Diggle's arm to reel him in as he passed by. "Honey."

Dig stared at him, but Oliver ignored that and hauled him in close, nestling against him as he interlaced their fingers. The noise and press of people at Moira and Walter's no doubt ridiculously expensive party seemed to fade away as Dig focused the bulk of his attention on figuring out what crazy plan Oliver was currently hatching.

"I was just telling Laurel here what a great couple she and Tommy make, isn't that right, sweetheart?" Under the guise of toying with Dig's hand, Oliver dug his thumb into a pressure point that made Dig gasp. 

"Sure," Dig said. "Honey."

Laurel just looked at them, one elegantly arched eyebrow raised. "Started dating again, Oliver?" she asked.

"Oh, you know me," Oliver said cheerfully, waving his free arm in a seemingly random gesture that somehow landed his hand firmly on Felicity's wrist as she wandered by on her way to the buffet table. He hauled Felicity in on his other side, neatly securing his unguarded flank. "Hey, honey!" 

Felicity stared at Dig, looking every bit as confused as he felt. 

"Honey," Dig greeted her experimentally, and Oliver beamed.

"So listen, Laurel, I promised the old ball and chain here--I'll let you guess which is which!--I'd give them the special tour of the gardens, so we'll catch you later, okay?" Turning, Oliver hustled Dig and Felicity out of the crowded room, across a wide veranda overlooking the sumptuous grounds and down onto the impeccably manicured lawn.

As soon as their feet hit grass, Felicity turned to him. "What the heck was that?"

Oliver's face did that thing where it looked like all capacity for facial expression had been wiped from his memory banks. "What was what?"

Dig rolled his eyes. "Oliver, if you want us to go along with--whatever it is you want us to go along with here, you're going to have to tell us what's going on."

Oliver sighed. "It's for Tommy," he said. "And Laurel."

"We're going to need a lot more information than that," Felicity said, arms crossed. "Honey."

"Look," Oliver said. "Laurel does not need to get in the middle of the things we are working on right now."

Dig and Felicity traded looks and shrugged. True, vigilantism wasn't for everyone. It might possibly not even be for them, but that was a subject for another time.

"I'm--" Oliver looked away. "I'm not the man she thinks I am. And Tommy, he wants the two of them to give it a shot, a real shot at a relationship. I just want them to be okay with leaving me out of it."

"Out of... their relationship?" Dig asked. He had a feeling he could see where this was going.

"Well, yeah," Oliver shrugged. "We had a thing."

"Who had a thing?" Felicity asked.

" _We_ did."

" _Who_ did... _oh_ " Felicity said. "The, ah, three of you did."

"They know me," Oliver said helplessly. "Or they know this part of me; they know I'm not the kind to settle down with someone without fucking it up. _Two_ someones, that they can believe."

"Okay," Dig drew out the word. "And that is because...?"

"Better men than me have tried to figure out how my brain works, Diggle, I don't know," Oliver snapped. "When I'm dating just one person, I start doing terrible things, things I am not proud of."

"What kind of things?" Felicity asked, sounding intrigued.

Oliver mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _"Sleep with her sister,"_ that Dig decided was best ignored for the time being.

"Okay," Dig said, opting to focus on the practical. "So what exactly do you want us to do?"

"Just act like--"

"Ollie!" Tommy rushed out from the party and barrelled into Oliver, hugging him joyfully. "Laurel told me, that's amazing!" He slapped Oliver on the back, kissed his cheek and turned to Dig and Felicity, smiling widely. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea!" He shook their hands, beaming.

"Um," Felicity said. "Thank you."

"We were hoping to be discreet," Oliver said, patting Tommy's arm. "You know, since Dig is working for me, and Felicity is--"

"Working for Queen Consolidated," Felicity said, apparently deciding to run with it. "But I just knew I had to have him!" 

Oliver shot her a covert look behind Tommy's back.

"Them!" she amended hastily, looping one arm through Dig's and one through Oliver's and yanking them close. "I knew I had to have _them_. A man sandwich!"

"Wow," Tommy said, grinning at her. "You are quite the vixen, aren't you? Well, you just try to treat him right; Oliver may look tough but he is a giant marshmallow on the inside, aren't you Ollie?"

"Oh, I will," Felicity assured him. "I always treat my man--my _men_ \--right! And so does Dig, I mean, Dig is an _awesome_ boyfriend, he just makes you feel calm and safe and he's so perceptive, it's like he always knows what you're feeling, which makes it _so_ much easier since ninety percent of the time Oliver has no idea what _he's_ feeling, so in terms of efficiency alone, it's been great."

"Thank you," Oliver said, deadpan. "Honey."

"Well, that is fantastic!" Tommy declared. "We should totally get together for drinks or something with Laurel." He turned to Oliver, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his face into Oliver's neck, hugging him so hard Dig could have almost sworn he heard a rib creak. "You deserve this, man. I am so happy for you." He pulled away, looking a little misty-eyed. "I should go, Laurel's probably looking for me."

Tommy walked away, and Oliver looked after him with an inscrutable expression. Just as Felicity turned towards Oliver, questions written large all over her face, Oliver whirled around like a ninja, curving the fingers of one hand around the nape of Dig's neck and the other around Felicity's, pulling them in until all three of them were resting their foreheads together, eyes closed and breathing in the same air. 

Dig really should have been more startled, but it felt surprisingly nice, the three of them leaning into each other in the dark, the night air cool around them, the sounds of the party continuing softly in the background.

"So," Felicity said into the dark, intimate little circle. "I guess Tommy's still watching."

"Just hold it a little longer," Oliver said grimly.

Dig sighed.

***

"I want a raise," Felicity said, sweeping into their secret underground lair.

Oliver blinked. "You don't work for me." He didn't loosen his chokehold on Dig, but the momentary pause in their sparring pretty much left them just standing there, basically hugging while shirtless and slippery with sweat, high on fight or flight endorphins, Dig's back pressed flush to Oliver's front, and huh.

So that was probably why they didn't usually freeze mid-spar.

"That is a detail," Felicity waved a hand. "Because if you had said that three weeks ago, I would have said, 'That's true Oliver, I don't actually work for you, aside from assisting you in fighting crime and covering up the fact that you spend all your time running around in a hood shooting arrows at people.' _However_ , after four drinks dates with Tommy and Laurel, two dinner dates with Tommy and Laurel, and an invitation to the Merlyn family summer home in the Hamptons with Tommy and Laurel, I kind of feel like I do."

Oliver's facial expression circuits had apparently powered down again, so Dig stepped in.

"You have to admit, Oliver," Dig moved out of the chokehold and went to grab a towel, wiping himself off. "This has been a bit more involved than we had imagined, originally."

"Yeah," Oliver said softly. His faced actually moved and everything, so it looked like he was back onboard with the conversation. "It's just, it makes Tommy so happy, and I could never say no to Tommy."

"It must be the sad eyes," Felicity said thoughtfully. "I can see how that would work."

"But I understand if it's too much, I know you didn't sign on to help me out with my private life."

Dig tossed Oliver a clean towel, and he could see Felicity's eyes following the movement, watching Oliver's smooth catch and the way he drew the towel over his tautly muscled body in a series of quick, efficient wipes.

"Well," Dig said, consideringly. "We could adapt." 

***

"I think we may have over-adapted," Felicity said, pressed up against Dig on the exceedingly comfortable bed at the Merlyn family summer home in the Hamptons. The exceedingly comfortable, yet not nearly big enough for three adults bed in the bedroom located conveniently down the hall from Tommy and Laurel's room.

"I'm really sorry," Oliver said again, pressed up on Dig's other side, his taut body smelling of sharp, green herbs and the outdoors.

"No, we get that," Dig said. "We got that the first dozen times you said it, too. And yet."

"And yet," Felicity picked up the thread. "I feel like I am getting to know things about you I never thought I'd have reason to know. Not that I mind, knowing. At all."

"What, like the bisexual thing?" Oliver asked, amused. "The threesomes thing?"

"Well, sure, but also the secretly human thing," Felicity shrugged, the movement flowing through her shoulders, making her soft, gentle curves press further into Dig's body. "The wrapped around your childhood bff's little finger thing--which is totally adorable, by the way."

"Yeah, well just don't ever tell _him_ that."

"The really sweet about him and Laurel thing," Dig added.

Oliver smiled, just a little bit, in that little-boy way he had. Dig couldn't see it, lying there in the dark, but he could tell.

Slowly, Felicity's soft, warm hand hit Dig's elbow, crept along his forearm and down to his hand. Dig turned over his palm and let her interlace their fingers, feeling her settle just a little more firmly against him. Dig gave her fingers a squeeze and nestled further into Oliver, feeling him relax just a little bit, a slight softening of his rigidly held posture as he let himself mold to Dig's body.

Dig smiled and closed his eyes.

***

Tommy and Laurel had warned them they'd be up late, but Oliver and Dig got restless if they didn't have an early morning workout, so they'd compromised on going for a run. Felicity was waiting for them in the kitchen when they got back, wearing rumpled pajamas and poking at a frying pan.

"I made you food," she said, transferring pancakes onto a plate. "Don't get used to it. My culinary skills begin and end at boxed pancake mix."

"They look amazing, Felicity, thank you," Dig said, handing Oliver a stack of plates and rummaging around for the silverware.

Oliver smiled at Felicity and followed Dig's lead, helping to set the table in the cheerful little breakfast nook. If their hands brushed as they worked on the table settings, well. These things happened.

***

"All I'm saying is, a genuine case could be made for blue balls, here," Felicity said.

Across the table, Oliver choked on a bite of pancake.

Felicity patted his back helpfully, while Dig poured him a glass of orange juice. 

"Or whatever the equivalent of blue balls is for women. Blue ovaries? I may have blue ovaries," Felicity cut into another pancake, looking thoughtful. "That makes it sound kind of reproductive, though, and honestly reproduction is pretty much the last thing on my mind right now."

"I know what you mean," Dig said. "That bed is pretty narrow for all three of us."

"I told you I can sleep on the floor," Oliver said, gaze riveted to his plate.

"Yeah, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun," Dig grinned.

"Torturous, but fun," Felicity agreed. "But torturous."

Oliver's cheeks were looking dangerously flushed in the early morning light. Dig watched, fascinated. It was kind of adorable.

"Good morning!" Tommy called, ambling into the room with Laurel. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders and she was wearing Tommy's shirt from the night before. 

"Morning," Laurel gave them a vague smile and wave, then headed straight for the coffee machine.

"Sleep well?" Tommy waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

"So well!" Felicity said, plastering on a wide, bright smile. "Boy we slept like _logs_ , we were--"

Subtly, Dig nudged her foot under the table and tilted his head towards Oliver, who was looking at her with wide eyes. Across the kitchen, Laurel was staring at them oddly, hands curled around her mug of coffee.

"I mean, _no!_ " Felicity corrected. "Sleep, hah, hardly at all, because wow, these guys are _insatiable_ , it is like doing it with _superheroes_! Thank goodness there's two of them, 'cause when a girl needs a break they can just kind of entertain each other, you know?"

"Try doing it with teenagers," Laurel murmured into her mug, and Tommy grinned.

"Yeah, we had some good times," Tommy looked at her fondly, sharing a smile with Oliver. "Once we figured out where everything went, more or less."

"Sometimes more, sometimes less," Laurel smirked.

"Hey!" Tommy protested. "We were going on intuition!"

"The internet was really helpful," Laurel confided, refilling her mug. "Otherwise I think you'd _still_ be trying to--"

"Okay!" Oliver stood abrubptly, clapping his hands. "Who's up for a dip in the pool?"

 _"So many stories,"_ Laurel mouthed at Felicity, who looked thrilled.

"Why don't you guys go ahead," Dig said generously, waving at Oliver and Tommy. "Laurel, have a seat. Would you like some pancakes? Felicity and I would just _love_ to hear more."

Oliver looked mortified. 

Felicity and Dig shared a grin. Revenge was sweet.

***

That night, when they went to cram themselves into the bed, Dig couldn't help but notice Felicity seemed to be wearing somewhat less clothes than usual. 

"It was on sale," she said defensively, pulling the sheets up over her satiny blue negligee, the black lace trim framing her flushed chest sweetly. 

"Looks great on you," Dig said softly, walking up to the bed. He thought about taking his shirt off in solidarity, then shrugged and pulled it off, setting it on the dresser. 

Felicity's eyes widened.

"Is this okay?" Dig asked, a little self-conscious. 

"I don't know why you ever wear a shirt," Felicity said reverently. "Like, ever."

"Baby," Dig said, smiling. "You say the sweetest things."

Beside him, Oliver looked confused. "I don't really know what's going on here," he said. "Should I leave? I can just..." he gestured towards the door.

"No!" Felicity and Dig chorused. 

Oliver just looked at Dig, blankly, then looked at Felicity, then looked at Dig again.

"Look, it's been fun, right?" Felicity said, sitting up against the headboard. "Pretending to be a couple--well, a threesome. Pretending to be a threesome. Boy, I bet the need to do that doesn't come up very often. But yes, pretending! Relationship! Fun! Maybe we should do it again sometime, after this time is over! Or, hey, what if we did it for real?"

Oliver blinked, finally. "You're not just saying that because the bed's too small? Because I said I could sleep on the floor. I've slept in caves and burned out airplane husks; trust me, this floor is swank."

"The bed is really, really small to fit three people," Dig agreed. "But that's not why she's saying it, is it, Felicity?"

"I'm saying it because we _work_ ," Felicity said. "And because you're both super hot and I'm only human. But mostly the first part."

"I mentioned I'm really bad at being in a relationship with just one other person, right?" Oliver asked.

"Yes!" Felicity rolled her eyes.

"And sometimes even with two other people, I can still be kind of--"

"An emotionally repressed jackass?" Felicity said helpfully.

"Guarded," Dig suggested. "Stalwart. Stoic."

"That's what I said," Felicity protested.

"Right," Dig said. "So," he sat on the bed, crowing in next to Felicity up against the headboard and patting the spot next to him. "Are we gonna do this?"

"Um," Oliver hesitated.

"Oliver," Dig said kindly. "You're a train wreck. Everybody is. Felicity and I can hold our own, okay? The three of us, you've got to admit we're stronger together than we are individually. We can do this."

"We can kick this relationship's ass!" Felicity said cheerfully. "Am I right or am I right?"

"Well," Oliver said, finally sidling up to the bed and perching on the edge of it. "You might not be wrong?"

It was a start.


End file.
